its always the sleepless nights that get me
oh well.
i have a presentation due tomorrow and an important test on tuesday which i am both gonna skip
i have unwillingly and unknowingly become a loyal follower of procrastination
once you get into it, there’s no going out
these days and weeks might be rough but…
APRIL IS COMING
which means i am fucking leaving this place for a week and a half to play shows everyday
with one of my favourite hardcore bands
if a 13-year old boy ever had a dream when he saved up every cent he had for months to buy himself a cheap, shitty piece of wood called guitar (which literally broke less than 2 years later), this was it.
as much as i hate to leave my love for this period of time and as much as i know i’ll be stabbing myself for doing this,
i have to do it
after a horrible end of 2009 and start of 2010, the hardest time of my life i had to live through, i finally get a pinch of life’s momentary goodness once again.
even though, it would be nice to get the support and approval of the person that mean the most, just for that person to be happy for me, reaching a milestone in my young life, a dream achieved, a goal marked down.
i’ve lost everything and if there was one thing that i haven’t lost and still meant something, this was it.
and ‘if you can wait till i get home, i swear to you that we can make this last’
and im coming to terms that this life is shit and everything before is shit and everything after will be no more than similar, so i’ll just have to keep my usual silence and try my best to stay gold and maybe i won’t die with much regret or grief, because either way, i’ll lose. spite me, stab my back, gorge my eyes, lie to my face, try getting back at things i am still not guilty of. i guess everyone has gotta learn to let their love be. fuck myself, i’ll always love you.
